do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
