Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i was born a porn star she said
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
