She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize