can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
