Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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