During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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