idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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