I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Couch. On fire.
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