I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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