he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
