I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
