You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
