I wish I could punch you in the face.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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