"it" just moved
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
