the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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