I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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