He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
whose parrot is this?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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