that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
