Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
look no pants
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
