I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
