I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's get the cat blown out
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
