I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
