her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
