I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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