She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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