He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize