cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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