nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
