Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
