I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Alive.
So much puke
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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