checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
