I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
