You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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