I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
