Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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