Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
