This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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