Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize