All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
