Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
