I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
