Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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