I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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