Kiss
Puke
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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