I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This house was built for laser tag.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
