I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
