No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
