I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
