My balls are so social today.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
