It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
