I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
