i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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