Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I didn't notice because vodka
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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