my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
