Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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