Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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