Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
