reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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