My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
