Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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