all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
