he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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