I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
