I like my sex mixed with concussions.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
