last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
