My room smells like vodka and shame
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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