you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
