Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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